It's a double edged sword. I finished my performance degree and immediately went to law school. I had a number of people who I respected telling me I shouldn't, and I should take auditions and go for a masters, etc...And given who they were, I didn't take their implicit compliment lightly. But I had to take inventory of a lot of things. On the one had, I loved and still love music, passionately. It hurts that I didn't continue on in it, and I struggle to enjoy going to symphony concerts as a result. And this is almost 20 years on at this point. On the other hand, I did want stability that the audition circuit, adjunct professorships, and constant contract negotiations didn't provide.graybach wrote: Sat Aug 23, 2025 10:07 am
I should have taken my high school math teacher’s advice and played the tuba for enjoyment, and had a different career that put food on the table that I liked doing. I might still be playing if I did that.I haven’t played the tuba in a number of years because I played so much in university that I got sick of even looking at it. And I learned most of what I learned about teaching by doing it, not by sitting in a classroom and hearing what teaching was going to be like.
As a player, I was always cognizant that I wasn't the technician that many others were. I would never win an audition that Bydlo was on. I'd never have the best VW concerto if you made us play back-to-back-to-back. I didn't have and still don't have a great high range, and I have literally zero endurance. But you put a Mahler, Bruckner, or Prokofiev symphony on the stand, and the ensemble would love me. So I did well in ensembles. Conductors loved what they heard. Always got call backs when I subbed for others. But I had to accept that I probably would never win an audition, for the frustrating reason that I couldn't do something that we were never really called to do as well as the top guys.
So anyway. I left music full time. I've had a decent time playing in local and community ensembles. But it's not completely satisfying. I have a good life outside of it, but it doesn't fill that specific void. I still make myself play to a high standard. I don't know why. But I do.
So I'm coming from the other side of it - I left music and wonder if I should have taught or found another way to stay in it. Never a right answer.
